Saturday, July 14, 2012

Body Language


BODY LANGUAGE


Sometimes the way we talk about our bodies gives expression to our emotional conflicts. When your emotional pain is too upsetting, those feelings can be converted into physical sensations.  For example:

"I don’t want to think about that fight with my friend.  I ate so much that my stomach hurt, and that’s all I can think about."  (ie, It’s too emotionally painful to think about it, but that fight with my friend really hurt my feelings)

"Just thinking about dating gives me a headache."  (ie, Thoughts of dating make me feel scared, upset, and vulnerable)


Food cravings can also reflect an unmet need.  If you are unsatisfied in your life, and crave the “sweetness” of connection, comfort, or satisfaction, you may talk about it in terms of food, rather than emotional needs.

“I’m in the mood for ice cream.”  (I need comfort)
“I can’t get enough candy.”   (I don’t have enough kindness, love, friends…)


Physical emptiness may be a way of denying needs.

“I like purging.  I like the feeling of being empty.”   (I don’t want any messy feelings)
“I like being really hungry.  It feels clean.”  (I don’t want to need or want anything or anyone)


Translate your “body language” into emotional needs, wants or conflicts.

What emotional pain are you aware of right now?  

What, or who, is hurting your feelings?

What, or who, is making you ache with sadness, anger, fear, or anxiety?

What does it mean to be empty?  Clean?   Do emotions register as dirty or messy?

What needs and wants are you turning away from? 

What kind of sweetness do you need in your life?

Physical pain can go away more easily than emotional pain.  If your stomach hurts from eating too much, you will feel better after that food is digested.  Emotions are not so easily metabolized.  The key is to first identify the emotions that you are translating into physical sensations, then learn to process them.  When you can work through your emotions and/or conflicts, you will be less likely to use food as a way to express them.



Comments and questions are welcome.  Please share on Facebook and/or Twitter so more people can benefit from the information on this blog.

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Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Friday, July 6, 2012

What do you want to lose?


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO LOSE?

“I need to lose 10/20/50/100 pounds.”
“These thighs have got to go.”
“I can’t wait to get rid of this flab.”

People often think that when they lose weight, their lives will improve, and they will be more confident, outgoing, and relaxed.   If this sounds familiar, you may unconsciously believe that by controlling the number on the scale, you can manage many aspects of your life, including your likeability .

When weight symbolically represents the qualities you want to get rid of – such as shyness, insecurity, anxiety, etc. – losing weight becomes equivalent to losing those unacceptable “parts” of yourself. 

It’s easier to focus on losing weight than think about shedding disappointments, fears, concerns, worries, and anxieties.

What are the “bad” parts of yourself that you want to get rid of?


What do you imagine will be different if you are at a different weight?


How will losing weight change you as a person?


For example:  “I think the worst part about me is that I’m insecure.  I imagine that I’ll be more confident when I lose weight.  I’ll be more social and have more friends.”

Losing weight might cause people to feel more confident temporarily, but the insecurity usually shifts to something else – such as whether they’re smart enough.  Whereas they once worried about the size of their stomachs, they now are concerned with the size of their intellect.  Therefore it’s crucial to address the underlying sense of insecurity.

What qualities about yourself (not physical characteristics) do you think you need to get rid of?   Why?  

How did you come to believe those qualities are unacceptable?

When you can accept yourself - the qualities you like and those you wish were different - you are less likely to displace this  characteristics onto weight.



Comments and questions are welcome.  Please share on Facebook and/or Twitter so more people can benefit from the information on this blog.

"Like" me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter


Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.